So, after not posting anything for about a year and a half, the most interesting thing I can come up with is filling out the exact same questionnaire that I did last time...  Because I am that unfocused on my homework right now.  :\

[in the morning i am]: sleepy
[love is]: amazing but so painful at the same time
[i dream about]: usually something involving the people in my life but in some oddball scenario

-W H O-
[do you have a crush on?]: Johnny Depp
[is easiest to talk to]: Megan

-H A V E .Y O U .E V E R-
[fallen for your best friend]: yes
[been in love]: yes

-W H O .W A S .T H E .L A S T. P E R S O N-
[you talked to on the phone]: Mom  
[hugged]: Megan
[you instant messaged]: Abby
[you laughed with]: Megan

-D O .Y O U / / A R E .Y O U-
[could you live without the computer?]: nope my professors wouldn't allow it
[what's your favorite food?]: Montgomery Inn ribs
[whats ur favorite fruit?]: pineapple or watermelon
[what hurts the most? physical pain or emotional pain?]: emotional
[trust others way too easily?]: unfortunately yes

-N U M B E R-
[of times i have had my heart broken? ]: 1
[of hearts i have broken?]: 1 that I know of
[of boys i have kissed?]: 2 
[of girls i have kissed?] : 1
[of drugs taken illegally?] : none
[of tight friends?] : I don’t know…don’t feel the need to count that sort of thing
[of cd's that i own?] : um…50?
[of scars on my body?] : 3 or 4, mostly from working in food service around hot things
[of things in my past that i regret?] : a few…

O.T.H.E.R.T.H.I.N.G.S.
[i know]: not much right now...
[i wish]: that I had someone to hold me
[i hate]: the UC MBA program
[i miss]: my mom, and... 
[i fear]: that I won't find someone
[i hear]: my A/C 
[i love]: sleep
[i care]: too much or too little, but never the right amount
[i will always]: be paranoid about everything
[i dance]: I don't dance...wanna teach me?  :\
[i cry]: every day
[i write]: not as well as I would like to
[i confuse]: most everyone around me
[i can usually be found]: in front of a computer doing homework
[i need]: to eat healthier, lose weight, and gain confidence in myself

-Concerning.The.Friends.(You.Claim.To.Have)
[wish you saw more often]: Kathy
[most sarcastic]: Elyse
[knows you best]: Kathy, Megan, Elyse
[most entertaining]: Abby
[love to be around]: all of them!
[nicest]: lots
[gives the best advice]: ?
[you are with most often]: no one recently

-Self-Analysis.You.Probably.Don't.Want.To.Do-
[your best feature (personality)]: my genuineness
[annoying thing you do]: ramble when I get nervous
[biggest mistake you've made thus far]: hurting someone that didn’t deserve to be hurt; and not loving enough
[describe your personality in one word]: shy
[the physical feature for which you are most often complimented]: no one really compliments me...
[height]: 5’5”
[a smell that makes you smile]: Estee Lauder perfume…reminds me of my grandma
[a drink you order most often]: water
[a delicious dessert]: Nectar Soda from Graeter’s
[a book you highly recommend]: Running With Scissors
[the music you prefer while alone]: musicals

[your favorite band]: whatever I feel like listening to at that particular moment
[a film you could watch over and over]: Wizard of Oz, Pirates of the Caribbean (all of them!)
[you live in a(n)]: apartment
[your transportation]: 92 Camry
[under your bed or in your closet you hide]: nothing fun...Xmas wrapping paper, empty boxes, shoes

--UNIQUE--
1. Nervous Habits: cracking my neck, rubbing my eyes
2. Are you double jointed: sort of in my fingers, they bend backwards
3. Can you roll your tongue: nope
4. Can you raise one eyebrow at a time: yes
5. Can you blow spit bubbles: sort of
6. Can you cross your eyes: yes
7. Tattoos: nope
8. Piercing: 3 in the ears
9. Do you make your bed daily: eh sometimes

-- CLOTHES --
10. Which shoe goes on first: left
11. Speaking of shoes, have you ever thrown one at anyone: yeah
12. On the average, how much money do you carry: $10 if I’m lucky
13. What jewelry do you wear 24/7: rings
14. Favorite piece of clothing: jeans

-- FOOD --
15. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it: both
16. Have you ever eaten Spam: no
18. How many cereals in your cabinet: 0
19. What's your favorite beverage: IBC Cream Soda
20. What's your favorite restaurant: Montgomery Inn
21. Do you cook: yes, if I have time!

-- GROOMING --
22. How often do you brush your teeth: twice a day
23. Hair drying method: air dry
24. Have you ever colored / highlighted your hair: yep

-- MANNERS --
25. Do you swear: yes
26. Do you ever spit: only when I'm sick

-- FAVORITE --
27. Animal: Cheetah
28. Food: Montgomery Inn ribs
29. Month: January
30. Day: Wednesday
31. Cartoon: South Park
32. Shoe Brand: Aasics
33. Subject in school: Band
34. Color: purple
35. Sport: basketball
36. TV show: CSI
37. Thing to do in the spring: wish it weren't getting hot again
38. Thing to do in the summer: swim or stay inside in front of the fain or A/C.  I hate hot weather.  Blech.
39. Thing to do in the fall: well it used to be band...now I don't know what!  After 10 years of band, I'm feeling a bit lost...any suggestions?
40. Thing to do in the winter: watch snow fall

-- IN AND AROUND --
41. In the CD player: Rent Broadway soundtrack
42. Person you talk most on the phone with: my mom
44. Do you regularly check yourself in store mirrors: semi-regularly, yes
45. What color is your bedroom: white...?
46. Do you use an alarm clock: yes but it never works anyway
47. Window seat or aisle: window seat

-- LA LA LAND --
48. What's your sleeping position: on my side
49. Even in hot weather do you use a blanket: yes
50. Do you snore: when I'm sick
51. Do you sleepwalk: I did once when I was sick with a high fever, but that’s all I think
52. Do you talk in your sleep: yes, so I’m told
53. Do you sleep with stuffed animals: yes, I get lonely
54. How about with the light on: not voluntarily
55. Do you fall asleep with the TV or radio on: yeah sometimes
56. Last interesting person you met:  I have no idea

{..In the last twenty-four hours have you..}

Cried:  YES
Bought something: yes a Twix bar
Gotten sick: no
Sang: no
Eaten:  yes
Felt stupid: yes
Wanted to tell someone you loved them, but didn't: yes
Met someone new: no
Moved on: no
Talked to an ex: yes
Missed an ex: yes 
Talked to someone you have a crush on: yes
Had a serious talk: nah
Missed someone: yes yes yes
Hugged someone: yes
Fought with your parent: no

Dreamed about someone you can't be with: yes

{Personal...}

Who is your role model: my mom

Have you ever liked someone you had no chance with: yes

Have you ever cried over the opposite sex: yes

Do you have a "type" of person you always go after: Drummers?

Have you ever lied to your best friend(s): no
Ever wanted to get revenge on someone because they hurt you: no, maybe in theory but not really
Rather be dumper or dumped: depends on the circumstances, but -- as horrible as it sounds…would rather be the dumper.  Being dumped is the most horrible feeling in the world
Rather have a relationship or a "hookup":  relationship

Want someone you don't have right now: YES
Ever liked your best guy/girl friend: yes
Do you want to get married: yes
Do you want kids: yes
Do you believe in psychics: depends
Do you believe you know the person whom you will marry at this point in time: no
What is your favorite part of your physical appearance: my nose
What is your favorite part of your emotional being: not much
Are you happy with you: no
Are you happy with your life: no
If you could change something in your life right now, what would it be: be happy, and know what I want to do with my life

{..Have you..}

Fallen for your best friend?: yes
Been rejected?: yes
Been in love?: yes
Used someone?: no
Been used?: no
Done something you regret?: yes

{..Who was the last person..}

You touched?: Megan
Talked to?: Mom
You instant massaged?: Abby
You yelled at?: don’t know
You laughed with?: don't know
Who broke your heart?: Megan

{..Have you/do you/are you..}

Stolen anything?: no
Smoke? : no way
Panic?: yes
Anxiety?: yes
Depressed?: yes

{..Questions..}

If you could be anywhere, where would you be?: in the past
What facial feature do you find the most attractive on others?: smile
Would you vote for a woman candidate for president?: yes
Would you marry for money?: no
Have you had braces?: yes
Do you like hairy backs?: GROSS
Could you live without a computer?: prolly not
Do you use ICQ, AOL Buddy list etc: AOL
If so, how many people are on your list(s)?: a lot
you could live in any past, where would it be?: anytime between the ages of 0 - 22
Do you wear white socks?: yes
Do you wear shoes in the house or take them off?: off
Do you eat wheat bread or white?: both
What is your favorite place to visit?: NYC
What is the last movie you saw?: Sleepy Hollow (or Harry Potter, in the theater)

I saw these on a few people's posts a while ago, and started to fill them out then, but never finished.  So now that I just finished exams, and I'm avoiding other work I have to do, I decided now was a good time to update/finish them...

[in the morning i am]: sleepy
[love is]: wonderful but sometimes complicated when other things get in the way
[i dream about]: lots of things…last night I think I had a dream about a friend of mine being pregnant?

-W H O-
[do you have a crush on?]: Johnny Depp?
[is easiest to talk to]: Megan

-H A V E .Y O U .E V E R-
[fallen for your best friend]: Ha.  Haha.  If you only knew what that was REALLY like.  ;)
[been in love]: yes

-W H O .W A S .T H E .L A S T. P E R S O N-
[you talked to on the phone]: Prabu, the graduate student I’m working with for a project
[hugged]: Megan
[you instant messaged]: Megan
[you laughed with]: Megan

-D O .Y O U / / A R E .Y O U-
[could you live without the computer?]: probably not, I enjoy emails
[what's your favorite food?]: Montgomery Inn ribs
[whats ur favorite fruit?]: pineapple or watermelon
[what hurts the most? physical pain or emotional pain?]: emotional
[trust others way too easily?]: unfortunately yes

-N U M B E R-
[of times i have had my heart broken? ]: …
[of hearts i have broken?]: 1 that I know of
[of boys i have kissed?]: 2 
[of girls i have kissed?] :
[of drugs taken illegally?] : none
[of tight friends?] : I don’t know…don’t feel the need to count that sort of thing
[of cd's that i own?] : um…50?
[of scars on my body?] : 3 or 4, mostly from working in food service around hot things
[of things in my past that i regret?] : a few…

O.T.H.E.R.T.H.I.N.G.S.-
[i know]: I’m freaking tired right now, exam week sucks!
[i wish]: that love really was all that mattered
[i hate]: Clifton drivers
[i miss]: my mom
[i fear]: that I will not find a job when I graduate
[i hear]: keyboards typing        
[i love]: lots of things J
[i care]: too little sometimes I think
[i will always]: be paranoid about everything
[i dance]: haha, I wouldn’t call it dancing…and only when no one is watching
[i cry]: when I’m stressed out
[i write]: not as well as I would like to
[i confuse]: most everyone around me
[i can usually be found]: in an engineering computer lab K
[i need]: to eat healthier

-Concerning.The.Friends.(You.Claim.To.Have)
[wish you saw more often]: Kathy
[most sarcastic]: Elyse? J
[knows you best]: Kathy, Megan, Elyse
[most entertaining]: Karamae
[love to be around]: all of them!  J
[nicest]: April, Jenna
[gives the best advice]: ?
[you are with most often]: anyone in a certain “service organization” to the band…haha

-Self-Analysis.You.Probably.Don't.Want.To.Do-
[your best feature (personality)]: my ability to stay neutral in conflicts
[annoying thing you do]: ramble when I get nervous
[biggest mistake you've made thus far]: hurting someone that didn’t deserve to be hurt
[describe your personality in one word]: shy
[the physical feature for which you are most often complimented]: smile I guess?  I don’t know, nobody compliments me
[height]: 5’5”
[a smell that makes you smile]: Estee Lauder perfume…reminds me of my grandma J
[a drink you order most often]: water
[a delicious dessert]: Nectar Soda from Graeter’s
[a book you highly recommend]: A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius
[the music you prefer while alone]: musicals

[your favorite band]: whatever I feel like listening to at that particular moment
[a film you could watch over and over]: Beauty and the Beast, Wizard of Oz
[you live in a(n)]: apartment
[your transportation]: usually a 92 Camry, but it currently is without valid license plates!
[under your bed or in your closet you hide]: nothing exciting.  Xmas wrapping paper.

--UNIQUE--
1. Nervous Habits: cracking my neck
2. Are you double jointed: sort of in my fingers, they bend backwards
3. Can you roll your tongue: nope
4. Can you raise one eyebrow at a time: yes
5. Can you blow spit bubbles: sort of
6. Can you cross your eyes: yes
7. Tattoos: nope
8. Piercing: 3 in the ears
9. Do you make your bed daily: eh sometimes

-- CLOTHES --
10. Which shoe goes on first: left
11. Speaking of shoes, have you ever thrown one at anyone: yeah
12. On the average, how much money do you carry: $10 if I’m lucky
13. What jewelry do you wear 24/7: rings
14. Favorite piece of clothing: jeans?

-- FOOD --
15. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it: both
16. Have you ever eaten Spam: no sounds gross
18. How many cereals in your cabinet: 3?
19. What's your favorite beverage: IBC Cream Soda
20. What's your favorite restaurant: Montgomery Inn
21. Do you cook: yes, if I have time!

-- GROOMING --
22. How often do you brush your teeth: twice a day
23. Hair drying method: air dry
24. Have you ever colored / highlighted your hair: yep for the first time a year ago

-- MANNERS --
25. Do you swear: yes
26. Do you ever spit: only when I'm sick

-- FAVORITE --
27. Animal: Cheetah
28. Food: Montgomery Inn ribs
29. Month: January
30. Day: Wednesday
31. Cartoon: South Park
32. Shoe Brand: Aasics
33. Subject in school: Band
34. Color: purple
35. Sport: basketball
36. TV show: CSI
37. Thing to do in the spring: open my windows and enjoy the fresh air; or go to the park
38. Thing to do in the summer: swim or stay inside in front of the fain or A/C.  I hate hot weather.  Blech.
39. Thing to do in the fall: band is all I do in the Fall.  Ever.
40. Thing to do in the winter: watch snow fall

-- IN AND AROUND --
41. In the CD player: Rent Broadway soundtrack
42. Person you talk most on the phone with: my mom
44. Do you regularly check yourself in store mirrors: semi-regularly, yes
45. What color is your bedroom: white...?
46. Do you use an alarm clock: yes but it never works anyway
47. Window seat or aisle: window seat

-- LA LA LAND --
48. What's your sleeping position: on my side
49. Even in hot weather do you use a blanket: Yes
50. Do you snore: when I'm sick
51. Do you sleepwalk: I did once when I was sick with a high fever, but that’s all I think
52. Do you talk in your sleep: yes, so I’m told
53. Do you sleep with stuffed animals: if I sleep alone, yes
54. How about with the light on: not voluntarily
55. Do you fall asleep with the TV or radio on: yeah sometimes
56. Last interesting person you met: EB

{..In the last twenty-four hours have you..}

Haha I love these things!  Thanks Karamae!

People confuse me.  I've stayed away from large groups of people and large groups of friends (girls in particular) for some time.  So I decided to jump in and join the group.  But now people just confuse me.  I guess now I'm in the process of learning how people work.  Girls in particular.  I'm learning not to be offended if someone is bitchy to me.  I'm learning not to take it personally if something I say starts a bitch session for what I see as no particular reason.  I'm learning that while for such a long time I've kept to myself and tried so very hard not to be mean to anyone, that in the meantime, people are analyzing my every action, anyway.  So I'm learning to accept that and get over it.

In the meantime, if someone does something that is not the nicest thing to me, I usually get over it pretty quickly.  Unless someone has some huge thing against me and consistently does directly rude or offensive things to me, I'm pretty forgiving.  Along with this -- I am not very confrontational.  Just who I am I guess.  Therefore, if someone does something that I don't absolutely adore, I don't always feel the need to confront them about it.  Because in the large scheme of things, I really don't see it as a big deal.  There are more important things to worry about.  I'll save my confrontations for the important stuff.  If I do have a problem with someone that I feel needs to be addressed, then I will address it.

I have no grudges against anyone; people can do whatever they want.  I'm just a loving person like that.    Everything others do is not always my business, so I try to leave it as their business.  If they want to share with me, or if I see it as something that directly involves me, then it's my business. 

Anyway, just some random thoughts.  Sorry to be so uninteresting.  Um...Christmas, yay!  I'm sending out my Christmas cards soon.  Yep, I'm a nerd.  It's ok though.  I like it.  Spent the entire day today at Grandpa's putting up his Christmas tree for him.  Finished my (horrible) exam at 11, got some Starbucks because I felt I deserved it after getting raped by the exam, then headed up to his house in Sharonville.  Got back home at about 10:30 tonight.  Worked on the tree the whole time, minus a one hour break to give my weary hips a rest, and another hour to have dinner with Grandpa.  Yikes.  Let's just say my Grandma had approximately...1.2 million ornaments.    Okay so that's exaggerating a tiny bit...but there was definitely not a single free branch on the whole 8-ft tall tree.  Whew!  I enjoyed it though.  Now I'm catching up on homework.  And writing random thoughts on here to avoid the homework, of course.  On that note, off I go.  Wahoo.

I hate labs.  Any kind of lab.  Physics Lab.  Measurements Lab.  Controls Lab.  And ESPECIALLY Structures/Motion Lab.  It sucks.  Everything about it sucks.  The actual lab.  Trying to deal with idiot professors and TA's that don't know what they're doing.  Writing the 30 or 40-page long reports each week.  It all sucks.  I didn't think that one freaking lab could take up so much of my time and stress me out so much.  ARGH.

Anyway, on a lighter note...  Thanksgiving is next week!  Yay!!  I'm going to my grandpa's and making an entire Thanksgiving for my whole family and then some...  Turkey, stuffing (from scratch -- my Grandma's recipe!), green bean casserole, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, gravy, rolls, pies...and something else I'm forgetting.  All.  By.  Myself.  I did it last year, so hell, why can't I do it this year, right?    Regardless...please wish me luck.  Please.  Fun to make dinner so Grandpa can have a nice Thanksgiving though.    Have to go shopping with him this weekend for ingredients and such.  Yay!  I love my Grandpa! 

That's all I got for now.  I would talk about band, but it seems everyone else already covered that topic pretty well.